Dakotawitch speaks... - Something I need to do

Something I need to do

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Something I need to do

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Jul. 8th, 2009 at 1:07 PM

...and it may seem petty and small, but I need to do it, and in a public way. Feel free to add as you see fit!

Postive Things About Bun Leaving Me

For the first time in my life, I have my own apartment
For the first time in my adult life, I have complete control over my own finances
I can dress as I like and not be called "dykey" or "trashy"
I can have whatever I want in the fridge, freezer, and pantry -- even if it's three varieties of Ben and Jerrys'
I can see who I want, when I want
Bed all to myself!
As long as I pay my bills, I can spend my money on whatever makes me happy (goes along with #2)
I can relocate anywhere I have an opportunity -- Houston, across town, Timbuktu, doesn't matter!
When I'm ready, I can DATE! (Don't worry, not for a while!)
I can watch all day marathons of Clean House and whatever else I want (as soon as I replace the TV that is)
I can listen to whatever weird music I want, as loud as I want, as long as I don't disturb the neighbors
Sir Boo Boo won't have anyone calling him names anymore
I can decorate my apartment any way that I want
I can do ritual in the middle of my living room whenever I want
No daily litany of my personal failings!
I can cook whatever I want
I can explore vegetarianism if I want
I can go see bands, movies, etc. that I want to see
I can keep my own schedule

I'll be adding as I think of things. I need this. Like I said, add as you see fit.

Location:The Office
Mood: determined

( 17 comments — Leave a comment )

mmmontserrat wrote:

Jul. 8th, 2009 06:19 pm (UTC)

Great idea. I love your list.

Celebrate your independence! Happy Independence Week~

May you have plenty of new friends and lovers and cohorts and also enjoyable solitude and peace in your new sacred space.

*mm

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reallyginnyf wrote:

Jul. 8th, 2009 06:31 pm (UTC)

Now you're free to fill your mind with positive, life-affirming thoughts about yourself, rather than criticism. Good for you! Breakups do suck, but you'll be stronger in the broken places.

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carneillian wrote:

Jul. 8th, 2009 06:40 pm (UTC)

while it may suck and get you down it seems like you've got more life to live ahead of you and are in the best place to get started. *hugs*

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wyrmwwd wrote:

Jul. 8th, 2009 06:42 pm (UTC)

YAY Dakotawitch!!! YAY!!!!!

On another note... if I had a TV, I would so give it to you. However, until you find one... make friends with HULU. That is what I do.

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real_bethy wrote:

Jul. 8th, 2009 06:54 pm (UTC)

You don't have to share your covers with anyone!

You can crank up your favourite songs and dance around in your undies and you don't have to worry about anyone making fun of you!

You can go to the bathroom with the door wide open!

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tarvae wrote:

Jul. 8th, 2009 07:24 pm (UTC)

You can be as 'silly' as you want without the stomach clenching fear of critism and scorn.

You can cry watching a movie or giggle like a loon and not feel anothers opinion of you trying to over ride you natural self.

You can leave a letter half written on you desk or computer and not worry that anyone will read it.

Darn it you can get up and go for a walk at 3am and not come home till after dawn and there will be no questions, no guilt trips, no attempts to control you masquerading as concern.

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(Anonymous) wrote:

Jul. 8th, 2009 08:18 pm (UTC)

I am so surprised at all the negatives! At first it was very sad that it just wasn't working out, and that otherwise you had a real symbiosis. Well, however it might have been, I can't imagine a better list of benefits that you have right there. I only lived by myself for a year until I was over 30. What a revelation that L loved having all my space to myself! Ever since then I still wouldn't have it any other way. HURRAY for Dakotawitch! Enjoy exploring your freedom - no, autonomy! You are in charge now.

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dakotawitch wrote:

Jul. 8th, 2009 08:23 pm (UTC)

You know, for a long time it was sooo good and we were so connected. But sometime in the last months -- I can't pinpoint it, but I think it was around the time I had a job interview in New York and she dug in her heels and said there was no way she'd move anywhere but Houston -- it got ugly. All I heard, all the time, was how weak, how pathetic, how worthless and powerless I was, how I couldn't keep the house clean (never mind being the only one employed), how I wasn't healing fast enough from things in my past, how my belongings were trashy and ugly, how was I was trashy and uncouth...you name it. It finally wore me away. I'm pretty broken but I think I'd have broken further if we'd stayed together.

I just gotta remember that when the tears come again later tonight.

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(Anonymous) wrote:

Jul. 8th, 2009 08:19 pm (UTC)

Oops - that anonymous post is from Althea.

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elfkat wrote:

Jul. 8th, 2009 10:02 pm (UTC)

You don't need to tell anyone else when you'll be home.

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chevy49girl wrote:

Jul. 8th, 2009 10:28 pm (UTC)

You go girl! Yay for being able to do what you want, when you want.

And what the heck is someone calling Sir Boo Boo names for?!

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dakotawitch wrote:

Jul. 8th, 2009 11:23 pm (UTC)

Sir Boo Boo *points to icon* is, shall we say, a difficult feline in many respects. And admittedly, he had a penchant for peeing on Bun's belongings, though I assert that most of that began *after* the namecalling. ("Evil Bastard" was her favorite.) She really hated him, partly I think because he was a symbol of my life before her. He is a possessive and demanding kitty, don't get me wrong -- I rescued him at about 4 weeks old and he bonded with me in a major way. She always ascribed malevolent motives to his extreme attachment to me. She used to "joke" about using a whiffle bat on him...to my knowledge she never hurt him, but she hated him with an almost palpable passion.

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chevy49girl wrote:

Jul. 9th, 2009 11:17 pm (UTC)

Eeek! Awful!
My cat hid under the bed from me the day I got married. I think he "knew".

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pixie1771 wrote:

Jul. 9th, 2009 01:43 am (UTC)

In all honesty hon, you are so much better off.

You are strong. I think Sir Boo Boo was trying to tell you something. :)

You are strong, and I love you my friend.

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ghostdogmeta wrote:

Jul. 9th, 2009 04:45 am (UTC)

You can totally wave at the neighbors as they park in newly vacated, primo spots.

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5ft_c_l_i wrote:

Jul. 10th, 2009 02:14 am (UTC)

She called him names? Wait, why am I shocked? She said nasty things about you, why wouldn't she call him names. And damn, girl! I had no idea she was so uptight about such a wide variety of things. Whatever time it takes you to get over her, sounds like she's going to need a whole hell of a lot longer to get over herself!

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December 2009