Welcome to Dakotawitch Speaks (or The Dakotawitch Doctrine). Sit back and listen to a little SR-71 for your standard disclaimer...

( SR-71....Video )

Anyone got a TV I can borrow for a few weeks? The one in the house belongs to Bun and she will take it when she clears out her stuff on Saturday. (I have made arrangements to NOT be in the house while she does this.) I will be able to purchase my own in a couple of weeks. Nothing fancy, and I have cable so the digital transition is not a problem. (My cable is rolled into my rent, and I don't have an option to opt out, so it is literally wasting $40 a month for me not to have a TV, otherwise I would not worry about it.) If you have one your'e wanting to sell cheap, let me know.

...and it may seem petty and small, but I need to do it, and in a public way. Feel free to add as you see fit!

Postive Things About Bun Leaving Me

For the first time in my life, I have my own apartment
For the first time in my adult life, I have complete control over my own finances
I can dress as I like and not be called "dykey" or "trashy"
I can have whatever I want in the fridge, freezer, and pantry -- even if it's three varieties of Ben and Jerrys'
I can see who I want, when I want
Bed all to myself!
As long as I pay my bills, I can spend my money on whatever makes me happy (goes along with #2)
I can relocate anywhere I have an opportunity -- Houston, across town, Timbuktu, doesn't matter!
When I'm ready, I can DATE! (Don't worry, not for a while!)
I can watch all day marathons of Clean House and whatever else I want (as soon as I replace the TV that is)
I can listen to whatever weird music I want, as loud as I want, as long as I don't disturb the neighbors
Sir Boo Boo won't have anyone calling him names anymore
I can decorate my apartment any way that I want
I can do ritual in the middle of my living room whenever I want
No daily litany of my personal failings!
I can cook whatever I want
I can explore vegetarianism if I want
I can go see bands, movies, etc. that I want to see
I can keep my own schedule

I'll be adding as I think of things. I need this. Like I said, add as you see fit.

I'm trying to find my strength, but no matter how hard I dig, I don't seem to be able to.

I know I am better off. I know that I do not need to be with someone who refers to me as pathetic, a failure, unambitious, trashy, weak. I do not need to be with anyone who tells me that a "person like me" can't fit into the cosmopolitan, wealthy life she wants. I do not need to be with someone who belittles my spirituality and lists my failures. I do not need to be with someone who refuses to contribute financially and then also breaks up with me because I can't keep a house that looks like Dwell magazine while also working multiple jobs.

I know this is for the best.

Someone just needs to tell what's left of my heart.

Bun's gone, this time for good. She has been back for a couple of weeks, and in the end I just couldn't handle the constant inventories of my failings, the refusal to get a job in the area, the refusal to take any responsibilities, the put downs, the emotional battery. I left an emotionally violent marriage and entered into another emotionally violent relationship. This morning I finally stood up for myself, and that was it.

She packed what she could and bailed. She'll be back for the rest soon.

I don't know what impact this has on my tentative plans to move to Houston.

I'm devastated but OK.

The music I choose for my commute really sets the mood of the day. Sometimes I manipulate this intentionally -- I'll set the mood or pace I want for the day by choosing music that will create that. Sometimes I let the Great Musical Oracle speak and hit Shuffle All. And then, sometimes, I choose tuneage and only later realize the tone it sets.

Today's commute in? Selections from Everclear's "So Much for the Afterglow," Tori Amos's "Little Earthquakes," and Blue October's "Consent To Treatment."

Yep, it's a "No Bullshit" Day.

I'm still working on catching up on everything that slid last week. I feel like I bit off waaaay more than I could chew the last two weeks, and now I'm trying to parcel it out into small bits so that I can get everything done. If I owe you something, please know I'm getting there. I'm hoping to have all my backlog taken care of by the end of the week, by Wednesday if I can manage it.

Tomorrow's a work from home day, and while I have several writing projects to work on, I'll be filling in along the sides with little tasks that need to be accomplished. I'll be putting up a list later today for my own information.

For now, it's back to 1896 and then to lunch with augustrayne 

We have some new products in the Etsy shop, courtesy of Bun. She has spent the day making the most beautiful earrings, using stone beads, glass beads, and metal charms. They are really lovely, and they're available now!


Goddess Knot with Sodalite


Crescent Moon and Greek Key

And many more at the Dreaming Priestess shop!

Wanting to go out to the lake for Solstice, but the 103 degree Texas heat is giving me pause. A morning run to Home Depot was enough to leave me in a melted puddle, so I'm wrestling with this one. I really want to go and experience some community and Spirit, but  I also know my body well enough to know that the chances I'll end up puking on the bathroom floor from heat exhaustion are better than fair. Hrm.

Doing my Phoenix grading. It's been a challenging week there, and I'm not feeling it.

I'm amazed at how fast my paycheck goes once I pay bills. This whole "getting paid once every nine weeks" bit from UoP means that we end up running our household supplies down to nothing and needing to do a massive Costco and grocery run to replenish. Plus you pay all the bills and all the other stuff you've deprived yourself of, and that big chunk o cash doesn't go very far after all. Bleh.

Bun's made some lovely earrings to put on the Etsy site. They'll be up later today or sometime tomorrow. I'm also putting together some "kits": a bar of soap, a facecloth, and a bag of salts to be sold as a bundle. Keep an eye out for those.

Thanks to everyone who sent along feedback on the site and the products yesterday. We're making some changes so keep an eye on the space. We'll be adding some Ebay auctions as well. Currently we have one up for one of our personal travel altars but I'll be putting some soap kits or spa baskets up as soon as I get some built. 

Thanks to popular request, we are now offering a Soap Sampler Pack at our Etsy shop!

Choose 5 scents to try! We'll send you small slices of each of your choices -- enough for several handwashings or a couple of showers. A a great way to try our products without committing to a whole bar! Especially great for those with allergies or sensitivities -- you'll know which Dreaming Priestess products work best for you!

$5.00 each Pack (5 soap slices), free shipping!

Also remember that with any purchase of $5 or more, you get a free hand-knitted facecloth.

I know several of you here have your own craft business through Etsy, Ebay, etc. I'm wondering what advice you have to offer.

We're getting a lot of views at our Etsy site but not a lot of sales. I know part of this is the economy itself -- people don't have a lot of money to spend on luxuries. I also know that scented products are harder to sell in a venue where people can't, you know, sniff them. But I'm still looking for ideas about how to increase my sales. If you'd be willing to take a look at the site and give me feedback (either here or at dakotawitch at gmail dot com) about what you like and what you'd change, I'd appreciate it.

I have my first Ebay auction up here. I'm a newbie to selling on Ebay, so any tips you can provide are welcomed. (I know that entry itself could be drastically improved -- it was a sort of "throw it at the wall and see if it sticks" type thing.) Those you who have done a lot of Ebay selling of your own crafts and products, what advice do you have? What pitfalls are there?

I'm looking for other ways to advertise the shop as well. I'll be buying some ads on the local hippie/pagan/eclectic listserv later this week. I'm also participating in a "trunk show" here in DFW later in July, which should hopefully bring me some foot traffic and sales. What other venues do you find useful for getting exposure to your sites or listings?

I'm finding this work incredibly grounding, even as busymaking as it sometimes is, and really want to see it soar. I will have a website of my own up soon -- just waiting on fundage and design time -- which will likely help sales, but I still need to know how to get people to actually visit the site.

Further, if there are products you wish I carried but don't, let me know. We have a number of new things coming -- whole herb incenses, Tarot bags, Sabbat-themed soaps, chakra-themed soaps, salt and sugar scrubs, and more in our spa line, to name a few -- but we are always looking for suggestions.

I know this space has been quiet the last week. I'm waaay behind on my Flist and need to catch up.

Everything's OK, just veeery busy. Working a lot of hours for The Boss, picking up (hopefully) a small gig making marketing materials (say that three times fast) for a guy starting a consulting gig, working on the Etsy site, and trying to get my own scholarship out of neutral. (That's actually going quite well, hence the radio silence.) Plus online teaching and household stuff.

Things are good, I am feeling very excited about the direction things are going. Bigger update coming in the next few days.

New products on my Etsy site!

We've reduced the prices on our personal altar boxes to $15.00

Also, with any purchase of $5.00 or more, you get a free hand-knitted facecloth! Take a look at the colors we have available, and specify in your order which color you'd like.

More new products coming in the next week.

I'm having a hard time settling down to anything today. I've accomplished basically nothing substantial -- I'm a total space case.

If you requested a reading via my open thread, I'll get back to you once I'm grounded -- I don't trust my intuition right now, but after some dinner I'll probably feel better.

This is a very weird feeling, and knowing I have so much to do in the next few days is not a good feeling either. I get this way sometimes, and I've never been able to figure out the common denominator.

Can I get a do over on today?

I've got an open thread up over at dw_divines . Drop by and see what the cards hold for you today!

. You can ONLY answer 'Yes' or 'No'.

2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone comments you and asks—and, believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming. Nothing is exactly as it seems.

Kissed any one of your LiveJournal friends? — yes
Been arrested? — no
Kissed someone you didn't like? — yes
Slept in until 5 PM? — yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? — yes
Held a snake? — yes
Ran a red light? — yes
Been suspended from school? — no
Experienced love at first sight? — yes
Totaled your car in an accident? — no
Been fired from a job? — no
Fired somebody? — no
Sung karaoke? — yes
Pointed a gun at someone? — no
Did something you told yourself you wouldn't? — yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? — yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? — yes
Kissed in the rain? — yes
Had a close brush with death (your own)? — yes
Saw someone die? — no
Played Spin-the-Bottle? — no
Smoked a cigar? — yes
Sat on a rooftop? — yes
Smuggled something into another country? — no
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? — yes
Broken a bone? — yes
Skipped school? — yes
Eaten a bug? — yes
Sleepwalked? — yes
Walked on a moonlit beach? — yes
Ridden a motorcycle? — yes
Dumped someone? — yes
Forgotten your anniversary? — no
Lied to avoid a ticket? — yes
Ridden in a helicopter? — no
Shaved your head? — no
Blacked out from drinking? — yes
Played a prank on someone? — yes
Hit a home run? — no
Felt like killing someone? — yes
Cross-dressed? — yes
Been falling-down drunk? — yes
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? — yes
Eaten snake? — no
Marched/Protested? — yes
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? — yes
Puked on an amusement ride? — no
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? — yes
Knitted? — yes
Been on TV? — yes
Shot a gun? — yes
Skinny-dipped? — yes
Given someone stitches? — no
Eaten a whole habenero pepper? — yes
Ridden a surfboard? — no
Drunk straight from a liquor bottle? — yes
Had surgery? — yes
Streaked? — yes
Been taken by ambulance to a hospital? — no
Tripped on mushrooms? — no
Passed out when NOT drinking? — yes
Peed on a bush? — yes
Donated Blood? — no
Grabbed electric fence? — no
Eaten alligator meat? -- yes
Eaten cheesecake? — yes
Killed an animal when not hunting? — yes
Peed your pants in public? — yes
Snuck into a movie without paying? -- yes
Written graffiti? — yes
Still love someone you shouldn't? — yes
Think about the future? — yes
Been in handcuffs? — no
Believe in love? — yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? — yes

I need everyone to know I am OK. I have so appreciated all your comments and messages over the last few days. I'm going to reply as soon as my head is more together.

But I am OK. I am focusing very much on myself right now, on what I need and want in my life, on what I will and won't accept.

Bun actually showed up last night to talk things out. She told me she realized she had made a big mistake leaving. I am glad she is here, and willing to hear what she has to say and all that. What we'll ultimately decide is best for each of us, I don't know.

But everyone, please know that I am well, I am focused, and I am seeking what is in my highest good right now. I am not going to do anything that will be to my ultimate detriment. I refuse to go back into bad patterns or into a life that it anything less than the awesome, fulfilling, healthy, magnificent one that I deserve.

And I'm in hardcore "no bullshit" mode.

I love you all.

Bun packed what would fit in her car this morning and moved back to Houston. She'll be back for the rest of it soon.

I can't believe it's over.

I love her so much.

I am wrecked.

I'll be Ok, but I'm not sure when.